Ferro rods work really well

[BryanR]

Today, I caught my house on fire.

Was innocently drilling a hole in a ferrocerium rod.  Was going to lash the ferro rod to my knife in case I need to start a fire when the zombies get here.

Anyway, I was drilling a hole (two others worked fine, this was the 3rd), the drill bit caught on the metal, I pulled back on the bit, there was an "unexpected" spark, the little bits of ferro material ignited, my notebook then caught on fire, which spread to some paper towels, and ultimately to the carpet.

The flames were smothered quickly enough, but it smells pretty bad in here right now.

Not looking for advice :-)

Just wanted to share for your enjoyment.

Be careful out there!!

[bubby]

if your married, I say run away

[Slackbunny]

The way I see it there's only one way out of this.

Throw a brick through your front window (from the outside). Dump a pack of matches and lighters on the floor. Punch yourself in the face a few times (be enthusiastic about it, it makes it look more real), char the edges of your shirt (if they aren't already), and rough up those knuckles a bit. Get a buddy that your wife doesn't know to dress up as a cop (not a stripper cop, that will only makes things worse I promise you) and come over immediately.

When your wife gets home, pretend to be just finishing up filing a report and have the fake cop promise to call if you anything turns up. Then tell her that you nearly died defending your home from a crazed pyromaniac arsonist. He got in a couple shots but you scared him off amidst the flames and then heroically put the fire out. You then immediately called the cops and you just finished up filing the report. You didn't have time to call her because you've just been working so hard to clean up the mess the arsonist left behind so that she wouldn't have to.

Not only are you now off the hook, but she'll be more concerned about the number you did to your face earlier to care about the house. Also as an added benefit, women tend to be friendly towards heros  . So soak it up while you can because there is no way that this lie is lasting more than a few days.

[Adam]

That's a perfect plan!  And hilarious!   Thanks for the laugh.

[Marks]

pics or it never happened!!!

[JW_Halverson]

The way I see it there's only one way out of this.

Throw a brick through your front window (from the outside). Dump a pack of matches and lighters on the floor. Punch yourself in the face a few times (be enthusiastic about it, it makes it look more real), char the edges of your shirt (if they aren't already), and rough up those knuckles a bit. Get a buddy that your wife doesn't know to dress up as a cop (not a stripper cop, that will only makes things worse I promise you) and come over immediately.

When your wife gets home, pretend to be just finishing up filing a report and have the fake cop promise to call if you anything turns up. Then tell her that you nearly died defending your home from a crazed pyromaniac arsonist. He got in a couple shots but you scared him off amidst the flames and then heroically put the fire out. You then immediately called the cops and you just finished up filing the report. You didn't have time to call her because you've just been working so hard to clean up the mess the arsonist left behind so that she wouldn't have to.

Not only are you now off the hook, but she'll be more concerned about the number you did to your face earlier to care about the house. Also as an added benefit, women tend to be friendly towards heros  . So soak it up while you can because there is no way that this lie is lasting more than a few days.

And when she kisses you, wince a little.  Tell her it's ok, a kiss from her is worth all the pain. 

[BryanR]

Here's a pic.  Rather boring photo but how often do you get to patch carpet late at night.

I thought you guys might be a fun bunch, now I know.  This is the crowd I want to hang with.  Love the responses.  If I had a wife, I could picture her face, and her confusion!!

Can't wait to meet as many of you guys in person as I can over the next 20 years.

[Rick Wallace]