Primitive Archer
Main Discussion Area => Around the Campfire => Topic started by: Will Tell on September 01, 2014, 03:00:28 pm
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I was a younger but stii a grown man when this happened to me. I was enjoying a nice OCtober afternoon about 20 feet off the ground in a tree stand. It was one of those perfect days, Squirells and chipmunks running collecting nuts. I thought I heard a scratching noise and it seemed very close. The noise kept getting louder when I turned to look behind me. There was a red eyed savage Squirell about 6 inches from my nose. He let out a bark that sounded like a hound from hell dying and showed me his 4 inch fangs. Well I can tell you folks I was looking death in the eyes, I jumped and knocked my bow and quiver out of the tree. There I was with no weapon but lucky enough not to have fallen out of the tree. Than he was gone, which made me more nervous. It took a good 30 minutes to calm down enough to climb down to get my bow and figured I'd hunt from the ground the rest of the day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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This is why when hunting, it pays to have a Cold Steel Trailmaster knife on your belt in case you have to engage savage critters in hand-to-hand combat. Then you could have easily lopped off his head and cleaned it out, dyed the skull with red ochre, and mounted the skull on your quiver. With the right chants done over it, it would be a powerful hunting charm to protect you against other critters. I can't tell you the chants to be said over the skull since you have to compose those yourself while burning a mixture of dried pine needles, oak leaves, and Port Orford Cedar shaft shavings. But if you don't use Port Orford Cedar, you can use the shaft shavings of your last batch of arrows. If you threw away those shavings, you will need to make another set and save those shavings and, from then on, never throw shaft shavings into the trash or the medicine will be rendered ineffective. From then on, shafts shavings must be used in this smudging mixture or left upon the ground outside beneath an evergreen tree under a full moon that causes coyotes to howl. Anyway, you have to burn this mixture in a stone bowl or an ivory white seashell. You pass your bow several times over the smoke and the bow then tells you the chants. Trust me, this works. But you can't ever share the chants or they lose their power. It's ok for your arrows to hear the chants and the bow already knows them since he/she told them to you.
The skulls of larger critters can be done the same way, except a deer skull is too heavy to hang on your quiver and the antlers snag on tree limbs going through brush. That skull you must hang on your wall and place arrows on the antlers. Any arrow that passed through game must be put there as well as "Robin Hooded" arrows (both the arrow struck and the arrow that did the striking.) If anyone asks what that means and why the skull is there, they must be told that it costs 100 shafts to find out and that if so much as one shaft cannot be made into an arrow, they cannot be told. For this skull, you have to make another chant for it and this chant must include mention of arrows that strike rock-hard tree stumps yet do not break. And, again, it must be painted in red ochre. While you are painting the skull, you cannot listen to any music that discusses fire in any way whatsoever.
If you do all of these things, you will find your hunting and shooting to be much better. You will not be troubled by rogue animals or human beings trying to picnic under your treestand.
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This is why when hunting, it pays to have a Cold Steel Trailmaster knife on your belt in case you have to engage savage critters in hand-to-hand combat. Then you could have easily lopped off his head and cleaned it out, dyed the skull with red ochre, and mounted the skull on your quiver. With the right chants done over it, it would be a powerful hunting charm to protect you against other critters. I can't tell you the chants to be said over the skull since you have to compose those yourself while burning a mixture of dried pine needles, oak leaves, and Port Orford Cedar shaft shavings. But if you don't use Port Orford Cedar, you can use the shaft shavings of your last batch of arrows. If you threw away those shavings, you will need to make another set and save those shavings and, from then on, never throw shaft shavings into the trash or the medicine will be rendered ineffective. From then on, shafts shavings must be used in this smudging mixture or left upon the ground outside beneath an evergreen tree under a full moon that causes coyotes to howl. Anyway, you have to burn this mixture in a stone bowl or an ivory white seashell. You pass your bow several times over the smoke and the bow then tells you the chants. Trust me, this works. But you can't ever share the chants or they lose their power. It's ok for your arrows to hear the chants and the bow already knows them since he/she told them to you.
The skulls of larger critters can be done the same way, except a deer skull is too heavy to hang on your quiver and the antlers snag on tree limbs going through brush. That skull you must hang on your wall and place arrows on the antlers. Any arrow that passed through game must be put there as well as "Robin Hooded" arrows (both the arrow struck and the arrow that did the striking.) If anyone asks what that means and why the skull is there, they must be told that it costs 100 shafts to find out and that if so much as one shaft cannot be made into an arrow, they cannot be told. For this skull, you have to make another chant for it and this chant must include mention of arrows that strike rock-hard tree stumps yet do not break. And, again, it must be painted in red ochre. While you are painting the skull, you cannot listen to any music that discusses fire in any way whatsoever.
If you do all of these things, you will find your hunting and shooting to be much better. You will not be troubled by rogue animals or human beings trying to picnic under your treestand.
Anyone picnicing under my tree stand stands a high chance of a rare meteorological oddity known as highly localized late season warm showers.
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Sounds like some good advice Dharma but finding a arrow that passed through Robin Hood might be a tall order.lol
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Heck I'd take my chanses grinnin that sucker. If it drew my blood
I'd just scream and jump. Much less complicated.
Better Nate than Lever.
Zuma
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We got a lot of those bloodthirsty killer squirrels in my neighborhood, that's why I got a dog. They'll get her first and give me time to run into the house and hide under the covers.
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I was squirrel hunting once, shot a few and was taking them back to camp to eat. One of them must have been playing dead, He crawled out of the game pouch in my vest and went right for the face. Scared the hell out of me. Now I make sure they are dead first.
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These squirrels were genetically engineered by the U.S. military as part of Project Bucktooth. This was to be a series of genetically-altered animals to be used as weapons on the battlegrounds of the future. The squirrels, codenamed Banzai Bushytails, were designed as an anti-sniper weapon to deny the enemy snipers the use of trees as a sniper's nest. Then there was Eager Beaver, a super-beaver used to dam up rivers and flood out enemy positions. But by far the most sinister was Heatseeking Skunk, which were genetically-enhanced skunks that could seek out the heat from a human body. Their scent was amped up to 100 times over the normal smell. These could be airdropped on enemy positions to force them to vacate and for area-denial operations. However, Heatseeking Skunk violated the international treaties against chemical weapons, so that one had to be scrapped. But due to a mishap, the Banzai Bushytails escaped from the government lab and this is why normal looking skunks are so aggressive.
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Just like the Spy Cats and Incendiary bats?
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And also the Killer Catfish, which were catfish genetically hybridized with sharks. They were to be used in river-travel denial operations. The catfish would eat enemy river patrol boats, crew and all. Unfortunately, some Southern boys got into the top secret compound one night armed with bowfishing gear and wiped out three billion dollars worth of research and development within an hour. They reported the catfish tasted pretty good dredged in cornmeal and deep fried, but the meat was a little tough.
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Yeah, yuck it up all you want. Go ahead and make fun of this situation, but anyone with half a brain knows of the Animal Conspiracy. It's all documented. It is all public knowledge. Go to vaguebuttrue.com and see for yourselves.
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Its horror stories like this that make small game hunting a nessecity in my area. Those little buggers have no problem running up a hunters leg, creepying across a stand/blind and screeching directly into hunters ears! I take it as my duty to lay my life on the line to clear out a few hunting spots of these red, grey and striped devils! good for the pot an even better for the hunt! You southern boys think hogs are bad!?! just wait until the poofy tailed demons come a callin'!!!
:laugh:
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You have to use a 120lbs. draw English warbow and case-hardened bodkins to bring down jackrabbits in these parts.
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You have to use a 120lbs. draw English warbow and case-hardened bodkins to bring down jackrabbits in these parts.
A nice pair of Harris hawks would take care of that, too. One stays in the air and the other will chase the jack out from under the bushes!
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It's all fun and games until one of your kids come up missing. That Squirell would of killed a full grown African Lion, a mere mortal man doesn't stand a snowballs chance in He!!o. Look to the trees next time you think your safe in the woods and you'll realize it could be you next. Stone points from a self bow would bounce off that Devils spawn. Armor piercing ammo from a large caliber rifle is what it's going to take. Hear me well folks, if you see one there is a hundred more you didn't see. Good luck this year and shoot for the eyes, the only sure way to kill them.
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We usually have to put a lot of work into a jackrabbit drive. First, we have to purify ourselves and our bows with shaft shaving smoke. None of us can afford English longbows, so we have to make do with flatbows, but we've put a lot of work into the charms we've painted on them with red ochre, so this helps. We have to sing our battle songs and prepare our line of bowmen shoulder-to-shoulder. If everyone chanted the right songs over their arrows and did not break the taboo of not mentioning electronic entertainment devices, we'll usually be all right. People beat the bushes and drive the jackrabbits towards us and we then shoot volleys of arrows tipped with steel trade points we hardened ourselves with a blowtorch and a bucket of old motor oil. Someone told us this works and his points did good, so we copied it. During sharpening of the trade points, it is important to never eat micro greens salads, roasted skinless chicken breast, or tofu, or the luck will drain away from the points. The points will be insulted and you will cut yourself during sharpening. If the arrows find their marks and the hunt is successful, then the crests on the arrows will tell who shot what. But if the arrows of two or more hunters are in the same jackrabbit, then they have to roll for it, highest number winning. And while the dice-rolling is going on, no one may speak of vegetarian cuisine or break wind. Our quivers have special pockets sewn on the outside to carry these dice, too. The loser of the roll has to skin and gut the jackrabbit, but he gets to keep the tail. What the tail is used for is not spoken of and none dare bring it up into after-dinner conversation. Any arrows broken during the hunt must placed into a steel pail on the right side of your back porch and people must not look upon them during noon and it is strictly forbidden to whistle while looking directly at them. If someone does those things, they may not drink coffee for five days.
If you do these things, you may survive a jackrabbit hunt.
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I could tell you about the time I knocked a racoon out of the tree with a 3 foot tree branch while coon hunting when i was just a young lad but it's a tale that brings up nightmares. I'd have to drink a bottle of whiskey and eat some Poyote buttons to relive it and have sworn off such things since I turned 60.
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Sounds to me like squirrel slayer is back or he has a brother. Not again
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We usually have to put a lot of work into a jackrabbit drive. First, we have to purify ourselves and our bows with shaft shaving smoke. None of us can afford English longbows, so we have to make do with flatbows, but we've put a lot of work into the charms we've painted on them with red ochre, so this helps. We have to sing our battle songs and prepare our line of bowmen shoulder-to-shoulder. If everyone chanted the right songs over their arrows and did not break the taboo of not mentioning electronic entertainment devices, we'll usually be all right. People beat the bushes and drive the jackrabbits towards us and we then shoot volleys of arrows tipped with steel trade points we hardened ourselves with a blowtorch and a bucket of old motor oil. Someone told us this works and his points did good, so we copied it. During sharpening of the trade points, it is important to never eat micro greens salads, roasted skinless chicken breast, or tofu, or the luck will drain away from the points. The points will be insulted and you will cut yourself during sharpening. If the arrows find their marks and the hunt is successful, then the crests on the arrows will tell who shot what. But if the arrows of two or more hunters are in the same jackrabbit, then they have to roll for it, highest number winning. And while the dice-rolling is going on, no one may speak of vegetarian cuisine or break wind. Our quivers have special pockets sewn on the outside to carry these dice, too. The loser of the roll has to skin and gut the jackrabbit, but he gets to keep the tail. What the tail is used for is not spoken of and none dare bring it up into after-dinner conversation. Any arrows broken during the hunt must placed into a steel pail on the right side of your back porch and people must not look upon them during noon and it is strictly forbidden to whistle while looking directly at them. If someone does those things, they may not drink coffee for five days.
If you do these things, you may survive a jackrabbit hunt.
I might get an iPhone if there is an app for that.
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My 280 remington 7mm, or the Mossberg 500 12 gauge with shredder sabots? Might end up getting a 50 cal. to be sure. Maybe some explosive, Rambo style tips... ya know, to keep it primitive.
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Who is this "Squirrel Slayer"? Sounds like he runs with a fast crowd.
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Yeah..... what ever became of our squirrelly friends? Werent there 3?
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All you need is 1 good arrow
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I watched this squoool take a thorn out of a full grown lions paw.
I ended the lion with my dagger and put the squoool in a hamster cage
to power my computer until it matured and died. Made a pot pie and a holster.
Zuma
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Breath easy boys, the devil is down. First one of the season with my bow, Bushboy must have made me a blessed weapon for the red demon of sprucey origins is no more. Now what was that ritual again...
There is a post about it in the 2014 hunting area of hunting an shooting.
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That's some quality shooting. Didn't even knock his hat off.
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The head was a little... smashed. looked pretty gnarly so I wasnt sure if it was apropriate to post... things hanging and such. Plus if I hide the wound then the others wont know what happened, might trick another one into giving me the evil eye at a good shooting distance. I just have to be ready for the one who was circling for the kill, like raptors in jurassic park, or wolves... decoy makes faces and lures you in while the blood thirsty thugs trap you in a ring of death... seen it a hundered times. skeletons in shredded blaze orange, claw marks on trees from the poor souls trying to escape. Its a brutal world in the woods, Im just trying to make them a little safer for the hunters, deer, and even bears
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You got off lucky. I once saw a skeleton hanging from a safety harness attached to a treestand. Poor guy didn't stand a chance. Got surrounded by squirrels and ran out of ammo. Didn't think to bring a tomahawk, and that was his first mistake. Mistake number two was failure to bring an appropriate knife. Anything less than a 7" blade is just a letter opener by another name. Mistake number three was, for the looks of the scene, turning his back on the forest. Never turn your back on the forest. You never know what's out there. Got to keep your head on a swivel out there. Mistake number four was he didn't have a single hunting charm on him. I mean, seriously, how long does it take to carve one out of antler with a flint knife and polish it with wet sand and a piece of buckskin? Mistake number five was he didn't have on a decent hat. You have to have decent headgear out there or the squirrels will see you're just a newbie and they'll be all over you in seconds. All those mistakes, and the squirrels will eat you for breakfast. But go out there prepared, it'll be a whole different conversation regarding who eats who.