The universe's plan for aging

[Marc St Louis]

A friend of my wife sent this to her

Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

#1 = Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
#2 = In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird; now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#3 = All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#4 = Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#5 = Give a person a fish, feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, years.
#6 = Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, & can't tell them apart; if you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#7 = Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8 = Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 = Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

[Pat B]

 

[Stoker]

That's some good points to live by 

[upstatenybowyer]

I like um all but I think #2 is my favorite. 

[BowEd]

If we only could only know back younger what we know now.

[DC]

Yes, but if we behaved then like we do now, the girls wouldn't have had anything to do with us.

[Pappy]

I like it Marc, especially # 4
  Pappy

[mullet]

Yea, Marc and Mark, my wife gets mad at me when I comment about super obese people in Yoga pants running around the lake here. I tell her they waited too long and are just going to die tired and sore.

[PaulN/KS]

Good ones... 

To steal one from the local oldies rock station:
#10- You used to be looking to score some "killer weed", now you're just looking to score some weed killer. 

[Otis]

Really good. When you hang around and eat with us at shoots #1 is a good bet to happen to you.  The ones that have know what I'm talking about.

                David

[Marc St Louis]

Yes they are all good but #4 and 9 especially so

[Knoll]

Yes, but if we behaved then like we do now, the girls wouldn't have had anything to do with us.

YES!
Would have been far too boring and grouchy.

[DC]

Good ones... 

To steal one from the local oldies rock station:
#10- You used to be looking to score some "killer weed", now you're just looking to score some weed killer. 

I remember hearing that there was weed killer on our killer weed .

[Oglala Bowyer]

Or this one...at least 80% of women will fake an orgasm in their lifetime while 100% of men won't care