Well, this morning I’ve done some of the normal stuff one does when doing a trade like this. I read lots of posts the guy I’m making a bow for has made on PA. I made some notes about which bows he complemented and seemed to appreciate the most. But after I did a little research, I still wasn’t satisfied that I knew what sort of person this fellow was, so I decided to take it a step further. …and I hacked into his Tinder profile!
So, apparently my trade victim is:
6’7” with a muscular and athletic build. Played both basketball and football at a Division 1 state university. Gave up a promising career as the lead vocalist for a major label rock band to pursue his real passion, which is a rehabilitation ranch for house pets that have suffered traumatic separation anxiety episodes due to being required to live in a small crate all day while their human families were at work or school. He’s currently unemployed but independently wealthy and devotes all of his time to his philanthropic efforts. He served briefly in both the Bush and Obama administrations as a special presidential envoy in charge of negotiating world peace and insuring the rights of the unfortunate globally. He enjoys long walks, quite cuddles, and ‘just hanging’ with someone special that he can make smile. Each morning after swimming 2 miles in the ocean next to his beach condo, he visits the nursing home for disabled veterans or passes out $20 bills to the homeless people downtown. He holds industrial patents on secret manufacturing processes he developed for use in the Aerospace and Defense industry. He is a highly decorated former Secret Service agent credited with preventing terrorists’ efforts to kill the first family and other dignitaries on multiple occasions, though the details of these actions are still classified due to national security concerns. He has a degree in Applied Mathematics and French Literature, with a minor in Eastern Philosophy. He speaks 5 languages fluently and is a top ranked international competitor on the professional croquette circuit. …but really, to his friends, he’s just a regular guy!
OneBow
