(warning: very long and detailed post that probably isn't interesting to much anyone. You've been warned)
So I went on my first hunt just this month, and not only was it my first hunt but it was a bowhunt for deer. A friend and I were taken to Osceola by an experienced hunter. He had set up camp, set up a blind and a tree stand and told us where to plant ourselves, we brought the firewood and the food. (and some wine, because who wants smores without some wine to wash them down? ) We had a lot of fun making plans, listening to advice and asking questions. Also got to hear a pack of coyotes go up in song a few times and Barred owls hooting. Earlier our guide had come across a buck's skull, decayed enough to have very little flesh but new enough that the rack was nearly untouched. According to the teeth he was a young buck, but the rack was a good 8 points and perfectly shaped. That brought us to talking about what's typical and non typical (I brought up the unusual buck pictures I've seen on this site) and how to judge the age of a doe and buck. Eventually we go to our tents, probably much later than we should have.
I found out a few things about myself and camping out. The biggest being I'm never camping out again without a sleeping bag that's rated for use in Alaska, because I was FREEZING. I already knew that I don't sleep when I'm too cold (apparently my body thinks I'm going to die from it so I keep jerking awake, plus being on a slope didn't help matters) and it dipped below freezing, proving my rated to -30 sleeping bag useless. Around 3:30 I gave up and crawled out of the tent and started up the fire again. I was thinking of the firestarting thread on this forum, and was grateful that I had some nice coals still active so I didn't have to give that a try.
I sit and watch the moon rise while listening to our guide saw logs all night as I tend the fire.
Around 5-something in the morning I hear an alarm go off, some rustling around, and...Snoring. I made the mistake of thinking he knew what he was doing, but it turns out he had no memory of shutting off his alarm at all, so by the time we got going the sky was already getting light. Fortunately he wasn't too mad about it and headed us out to our positions, pointing out where he would be. On the way to the blind (my station, and the furthest out) I kept seeing these bizarre looking green lumpy fruit on the ground. "Hedge Apples!" I'm told. Never seen such a bizarre thing, practically glowing green in the early light, nearly the same color as the leaves on their trees. He then points me to the blind, it's on the other side of a small creek that's recessed about 7' into the ground, with a small barbed wire fence on the other side. An obvious deer trail runs right over the fence, like I was told it would. Even I, a complete novice, could picture how deer would walk up to the fence, hop over, and probably pause to look around. I'm perfectly set up...And freezing. In the excitement and rush to get out, I forgot my chair. I hold still as long as possible while sitting on the ground, shivering and trying to flex muscle groups to keep warm. It would be a miserable experience, except I got to see the woods wake up around me. Leaves softly pattered to the ground in waves as light breezes rustled the tree tops. Birds start calling...And cows start making some horrific noises. Apparently a farm is nearby, and the cows were displeased with waiting to be milked or fed or whatever cows get angry about. Birds wake up, and every noise grabs at my attention but I feel pretty safe in guessing that they weren't deer moving around.
Suddenly I hear a "Whump-THUMP!" and I know better than to jerk around to look no matter how tempting it is, so I slooooooowly lift my head and cast my eye around, looking for that horribly noisy deer that must have jumped the fence. Suddenly I see movement, and "Whump THUMP!" again as a couple of hedge apples decide to give in to gravity. I silently laugh at myself a bit, and continue to keep an eye out, practicing on moving as slowly as I can while my legs keep seizing up and trying to shake off the chill. (Apparently three layers of clothing isn't enough for me.)
The sun eventually moves up and casts some light on the blind, warming it enough that my breath slowly fades from view. As the sun sneaks up on me so does my exhaustion. I'm awful at sleeping upright though so each time I begin to nod off I jerk awake, annoyed with myself and the sensation of falling to my death. Eventually I'm distracted by a nosy squirrel that comes muttering down a tree a few feet from the blind. I can see it looking at me, grumbling to itself and trying to figure out if is should give the alarm call. I watch it and pretend I'm a shrub. The squirrel moves around some more trying to get a good view of me, but eventually gives up and wanders off. Victory to me!
Every now and again I check my phone since it's on silent and I can't tell when I'm getting a message from the guide. Sometime around 11 he says he's heading back to camp, all the deer are bedded down for midday. We head back and while walking into camp I see a bald eagle soaring. It's a gorgeous day, and we eat lunch. Unfortunately the reason our guide headed back to camp his his back went out so he was laying down and taking a power nap while he was at it. We cook some food despite the wind gusting all over the place and do a bit of target practice. We go back out and are in our positions by two pm.
This was the harder half for me, because this time I remembered my chair and now I'm off the ground, sun shining on my blind and I've eaten. I don't exactly doze, but I spend periods with my eyes closed and just listen to the leaves falling around me. At one of these points I hear a "shhh shhh shh shh" in a repeating pattern, like someone walking through leaves. My eyes snap open but I don't move because it's really close to me and I don't want to spook what's making the noise. I pinpoint the noise to be directly to my right, just over the fence and I try picking out what's making such a racket. Finally I see it...A little grey bird with a darker head, hopping through the leaves and kicking them up, every now and again flopping to the ground to dustbathe. Soon it's followed by its friends, and that must have been a really good spot because they were there for a good hour and a half. During that time I see a hawk fly by and the squirrel comes back to mutter a bit more. Soon enough the sun starts going down and I'm once again shivering. I hear a Barred Owl call out a few times and the birds pack it up for the evening, as does the squirrel.
I'm getting demoralized, I haven't seen a single deer even though I'm practically on a deer highway, and I'm shivering so hard I figure I wouldn't be able to hit anything anyway. I knew I needed to pack up the blind which I was unfamiliar with and wasn't looking forward to trying to do that in full dark. Finally I have enough and send a text to my friend in the tree stand "I'm done." so she knows what I'm up to and put my phone away. Right then I hear more rustling. Figure it's more birds or that stupid squirrel again, but I keep still and just move my eyes in the direction of the noise and see a BIG buck walking right at me. While I have my bow on my lap and I'm sitting like a doofus! Funny enough, I'm not shivering at all and I don't even remember what cold is. He's standing on the other side of the fence on my right but the way I'm sitting I'm completely square to him. I'm watching his eyes and body, although I note that he has a beautifully shaped rack with three or four points from what I can see. He was moving with a "swissshhh, step. Swwiiisshhh, step." Very deliberately but kinda noisy walking and rubbing his face on branches. I'm just barely moving my head to keep him in view as he walks to the right of me, I can't move my feet because of the leaves (and here I'm thinking I should have brushed them away, why didn't I do that?) I can't lift my bow because he's sure to see that much movement. When he's almost right next to me he turns his head and I can see his his face fully on, like I said the right side was perfect but the left was almost half the size and mashed out sideways! How funny that we were talking about atypical deer last night. A tree blocks his view of me long enough that I can twist my torso while keeping my feet on the ground (why didn't I clear out those leaves?!) He ambles away from me then circles around so he's directly to the West so he's downwind and facing me. He's still trying to figure out what's up with the blind, licking his nose and sniffing the air. I figure that he smells the camp fire on me because he finally stomps the ground twice and walks away a few steps...Then makes two huge bounds, stops, turns around and looks around as if he's hoping he flushed something out, but doesn't really seem concerned and walks off. Unfortunately the goober went in the exact opposite direction from my friend in the tree stand so neither of us got a shot off, but I stayed put until it really was dark and packed up everything glad that I got to see a deer after all.
What's really funny is that my friend in the stand thought that I was the one making all that noise and couldn't figure out why I was moving so weirdly. Then she figured it out just before he flashed his tail in her direction with those jumps he did. When I got home and looked up Hedge Apples only to find out what the wood is normally called...Osage Orange. Made me laugh.
If you read through that mess, congratulations.