Thanks DC, Springbuck. I'll restrain any elm I get in the future.
I guess even if the limbs had been reflexed the same (or steamed even, DC), one being 2" longer then the other will mean the curves will look different when braced. Maybe they wouldn't with a true bendy handle, but an off center stiff handle just seems like it's going to make them different. So I gotta wrap my head around what it should look like. It's just going to have to be me using my imagination to figure what is right, instead of looking for the same curves.
I looked really carefully at the photos in Gordon's Vine Maple build thread, and I can see a difference in the limb curves when braced. That bow has got a 1" offset handle, and a lot of reflex. So seeing that that helps a lot.
Seems like if I look at each limb individually and just make sure it bends proportionately along its length, taking into account the shape of the reflex, but don't pay attention to the other limb at the time, that might help. Then the main thing would be to bring down the wood on the shallow limb when braced, until the handle is more or less parallel with the string at brace height.
At full brace it's a little different, because Gordon's looks pretty even for both limbs. I dunno, probably over-thinking. I gotta just do this thing and see what happens.
Okay, here it is now with more wood off, reflex is down to 4-1/2" (from original 6-1/2"). I'm just able to flex the limbs past the handle a bit on long string (just long enough to be taught between nocks). I think I'm on the way.
Thank you guys again for your help, and I will definitely use your suggestions in future.