Author Topic: Jokes about your profession.  (Read 14064 times)

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Offline JoJoDapyro

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2015, 07:40:55 pm »
When I did emissions testing we would sent the new guy to the auto parts store next door for a box of hydrocarbons. We would tell the new dishwashers that the extra plates were in the.basement, and it was located under the corner booth.
If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got.
27 inch draw, right handed. Bow building and Knapping.

Offline Slackbunny

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2015, 07:45:18 pm »
What's an engineer's best birth control? His personality.

Offline JoJoDapyro

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2015, 07:47:08 pm »
What's an engineer's best birth control? His personality.
oh that's good!
If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got.
27 inch draw, right handed. Bow building and Knapping.

Offline Del the cat

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    • Derek Hutchison Native Wood Self Bows
Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2015, 04:11:30 am »
Hay Del:
Did you ever hear this:

Question: What are the insides of electronic components made of?
Answer:    Smoke.   If you let the smoke out they don't work anymore.

Used to be a "bench" technician back in the mid 80's.
It has all changes so much now I cant even tell what most of the components are.

David

Yeah, it's not like it used to be... I hate all the surface mount stuff with a passion >:(
How are you going to get the next generation of kids playing with electronics if it's all damn surface mount?
I remember way back I worked at Raytheon in the UK. They'd always get the new guy by blowing cigarette down a length of sleeving and up into the unit he was working on ;D. Or just creep up behind someone working on a high voltage radar power supply and then clap loudly ;D Gets 'em every time.
Good times.
Del
Health warning, these posts may contain traces of nut.

Offline Del the cat

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    • Derek Hutchison Native Wood Self Bows
Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #19 on: February 23, 2015, 04:12:42 am »
What's an engineer's best birth control? His personality.
oh that's good!
Not really  >:(
Accountant maybe... real engineer... Nah.
Del ;)
Health warning, these posts may contain traces of nut.

Offline Wolf Watcher

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2015, 09:33:37 am »
Not a joke really and was a real part of my life for many years, Jeff Foxworthy said, "You might be a Skydiver if you look up to the sky and see holes instead of Clouds"!  Still do that to this day!  Joe
Get Close---Shoot Straight

Offline Olanigw (Pekane)

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #21 on: February 23, 2015, 11:42:20 am »
Inpatient psych:

Everyone's crazy here.  Then there's the patients.
"Good enough" is the enemy of great
PN501018

Offline Will Tell

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #22 on: February 23, 2015, 12:26:13 pm »
I'm a barber and my favorite saying is " I charge the same for a good haircut as I do for a bad one"

Offline half eye

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2015, 12:34:20 pm »
Back in the day (66/67 riots), Heuy Newton, Panthers etc. when "pig" was common term. Me and my friends on the Department wore gold plated Pig tie-tacks.....the saying was " I aint no pig I'm a pure-bread, registered Truffel Hound"    Guess ya would have to be there
rich

Offline Zuma

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2015, 07:50:57 pm »
Inpatient psych:

Everyone's crazy here.  Then there's the patients.

LOL
How many Psychiatrist's does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But the light bulb has to--- want to change.
If you are a good detective the past is at your feet. The future belongs to Faith.

Offline koan

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #25 on: February 23, 2015, 09:03:19 pm »
When i worked construction we would send the new guys after the board stretcher. The new guys at my factory get sent to the basement(we dont have one) after the "Micro-Genetic Torque Wrench" lol... Brian
When you complement a lady on her dress.....make sure she is the one wearing it.....

Offline DC

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #26 on: February 23, 2015, 09:27:03 pm »
When I got my first job my dad warned me about that kind of joke. They sent me after the jumper stretcher(telephone stuff). I went to the coffee room and poured a cup. They called me a smartass ;D

Offline mwosborn

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  • Mitch Osborn
Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2015, 10:16:14 pm »
As a teacher I have heard this one several times.........


What do you call a basement full of teachers?












A "whine" cellar.
Enjoy the hunt!  Mitch

Offline stickbender

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2015, 11:45:46 pm »
     When I was a dental tech, the saying was, "If it doesn't fit, polish the hell out of it!"  As far as Psychiatrists go, I have always believed the only way to tell the them from the patients, is they were the ones with the pens in their pockets.  When my Brother was in the Fire Department, there was a guy who they called Chicken Lips, because he went into the local market where they bought food for the station, and the store sold a lot of ethnic foods, like chicken feet, etc.  So there was a new girl behind the counter, and he asked her for a pound of chicken lips.  She gave him the deer in the headlights, look, and went back to the manager, and asked if they had any chicken lips, and asked her who wants them, and she told him the guy from the FD.  He looked out, and said, oh never mind him, that's Bill, tell him, we are out, and won't have any in till Tuesday.  So she did.  A Friend of mine gave a poor waiter, and bar tender a moment of confusion, when the waiter asked us if we would like to order an adult beverage, and he replied, yes, I would like an Aqua Chiller.  The waiter, went with the deer in the headlights, but wrote it down, and came back a few minutes later, and said the bartender, hasn't ever heard of that drink either, and could not find it in the mix book, and would like to know what the ingredients are.  So my buddy, says, well you take a glass of ice, and fill it with water, and  the waiter writes it down, and said , OK, and then what, and my buddy says that's it, then the big sucker look comes over waiters  face, and he finally starts to laugh also.


                                   Wayne
                                   
« Last Edit: February 24, 2015, 07:32:08 pm by stickbender »

Offline sleek

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Re: Jokes about your profession.
« Reply #29 on: February 24, 2015, 12:00:41 am »
Navy aviation. ..

I need 20 feet of flight line! 
Go get me a bulk head remover
I need a pad eye puller
get the keys to the airplane from the skipper, he had it last.
concrete welding rods,
50 feet of fallopian tube.
bucket of steam
bucmet of compressed air
swimming pool, bowling alley,  and McDonald's are at the bottom of the ship by the pool hall.
Collect a trash bag of jet exaust please for analysis. ( guy stands behind jet wkth giant freaking bag blowing in the wind )
new pilots who need attitude adjustments.  Mechanic to pilot: ease test sound powered telephone on aircraft. Pilot: where? Mechanic: pull tube from between your feet on deck and speak loadly and clearly. Pilot: test test. Mech, not load enough sir, please place tube to mouth and speak. Pilot obliges.  Mechanic satisfied walks away.
Joke?  We dont have sound powered telephones on aircraft. We do have piss tubes for bladder relief in flight.
It only takes a GED to fix what a college degree broke.
Tread softly and carry a bent stick.

Dont seek your happiness through the approval of others