When I saw the title "Gone Girl", I thought it was some Kerouac-inspired film that took place in the Beat era. The title is a Beat phrase, so this is why I thought that. I think there's a Beat poem out there somewhere titled Gone Girl, I dunno, I forget. I sat through about ten minutes of the film version of Kerouac's "On The Road" before I pulled the plug on the DVD, so I wasn't especially moved to see "Gone Girl". Well, this thread made me curious to I looked up the Gone Girl movie to see what it was about. All I can say is----boy oh boy! How do these films get made??!! They could use that film to extract confessions during interrogations. "No, please, no! No more Gone Girl! I'll tell you everything you want to know! But, please, mercy! No more Gone Girl!" Then the guy collapses to the floor sobbing uncontrollably.
I can see the guy selling this film idea to the studios: "Ok, get this! A guy comes home and his wife is gone, see? And the media starts saying the dude killed her, got that? Anyway, she faked her death to get even with him for cheating on her, see? She hooks up with an ex-boyfriend and ends up killing that dude with a box cutter while they're, well, we'll get to that later. Anyway, she does this-n-that and---" Studio: "But, wait, what happens with the husband while she's framed him for murder?" "Oh, well, that's easy! He does the logical thing. He gets back together with the wife!" Studio: "But wait. Does the husband know she murdered the ex-boyfriend?" "Yes! She tells him!" Studio: "Perfect! I can see how this would really happen in the real world! This is solid gold! All we gotta do is put a snazzy soundtrack on it, get some good faces in it, and we're in business! I smell a blockbuster movie wives everywhere will drag their husbands to see! It'll be the topic on all the talk shows!" "Well, see, talk shows are in the movie, too!" Studio: "Oh, even better! Then the wives will really hector their husbands into seeing it! I love it!"
I am left wondering if they pass out air sickness bags at time of ticket purchase for this Shakespearian classic. Or do they just assume everyone can use the popcorn buckets? There certainly must be a plethora of valid excuses for much preferable activities not to see this movie. Yard needs mowing, dental visits, colonoscopies, etc. "Oh, honey! Gone Girl is playing at the movies! You're coming, right?" "Uhhhh....well, actually, I had made plans to, uh, mow the yard! Yeah, that's it!" "But you mowed the yard yesterday, dear!" "Uhhh...I know. But, the grass is growing faster! Yes, faster, you see?" "But, sweetie, remember we saw the previews for Gone Girl on TV and I said it looked like a great movie! And I said I wanted to see it, remember I said that?" "I couldn't hear you. I was in the bathroom washing my ears out from hearing the dialogue in the preview, uh, I mean, no, I don't recall that." "Well, we're going. Get your coat. What're you doing? No, put the iPod away. You're not going to sit there and listen to Johnny Cash the whole time the movie is playing. I want to be able to discuss the film with you afterwards." "Discuss the film?!" "Yes, discuss it. Dear, put the blindfold and earplugs away. You act as if you're going to the firing squad." "Oh, but I AM!"
