Author Topic: I have some bad news, folks...  (Read 6993 times)

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Offline JW_Halverson

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I have some bad news, folks...
« on: October 13, 2014, 02:34:22 pm »
It seems we have all been doing it wrong. 

I saw a pickup with a load of tree trimmings headed for the yard waste site and I followed.  I was explaining that I wanted some of the wood for making bows and was going to help him unload as my way of saying thanks.  He was suitable impressed and thought I was pretty nice to pitch in and help. 

He was sweeping up the last of the twigs and leaves when I attacked the two prospective elm staves, both about 4" in diameter and pretty straight!  I was whanging away with a big ol' hammer and two wedges when he asked me what I was doing.  Told him I was going to split 'em right there so that if any of the splits didn't come out good I could chuck them into the dumpster.  He acted huffy and said that they were not splitting straight and that any limbs that are not sawn PERFECTLY STRAIGHT will not throw a straight arrow.   :o

I stopped and looked up.  "You have my undivided attention. Pray, tell me what I need to do to make a bow?!"  (I speak fluent sarcasm, having been raised in Sarcastia.)  He explained that the wood needed to be run thru a high quality mill in order to be straight, then it needed to be steamed into the bent shape like the "Injuns" did it.  I interrupted to ask where the primitive people got their hands on high quality lumber mills.  I was informed I was a smart ash (my clan is the Cottonwood Clan, we were the sworn enemies if the Ash Clan) and that since I didn't know how to behave he would let me fail. 

That's why I posted this in Around The Campfire because I am going to burn these lovely, albeit not flawlessly straight, 7' long knot free elm staves.  Maybe I should have posted this in Trading Post, seeing how I must now trade off $300 worth of high quality used hand tools in order to make a down payment on a saw mill. 

Sux to be me.

Guns have triggers. Bicycles have wheels. Trees and bows have wooden limbs.

Offline bubbles

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2014, 03:49:16 pm »
Hahaha.  He knows what he's talking about, that's for sure.  :)

Stringman

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2014, 06:02:00 pm »
This is like the reenactor at the old settler days that was telling me I couldn't strike a spark "that way!" He said, "give it here flatlander and I'll show you." At which point, I calmly turned to him and showered sparks down with 3 easy strokes and said "you're probably right." Then he says, " you know if you use some of your wife's cotton balls that will catch a spark real good!

"... Thank you sir, I'll try and remember that next time I'm caught out with only my knife to start a fire."

JacksonCash

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2014, 06:04:38 pm »
I mentioned at work that I made some bows, and someone offered me a bunch of f****glass supplies he had left over from patching his boat, and when I told him I don't use the stuff he said I must not know much about making bows. While that last part has some truth to it, it does not follow the first...

Offline Ozzy

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2014, 09:04:53 pm »
I'll throw in 50 on that mill if you will take care of my Osage I have  >:D
THE BEST SUNRISES ARE SEEN 20 FEET UP A TREE.

Offline bow101

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2014, 09:32:31 pm »
Some people know it all.   ::)
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."  Joseph Campbell

Offline koan

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2014, 09:49:25 pm »
Sarcastia.....purdy sure i have some kin down there 8)... Brian
When you complement a lady on her dress.....make sure she is the one wearing it.....

Offline Knoll

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2014, 10:28:58 pm »
As usual, great read!   :laugh:
... alone in distant woods or fields, in unpretending sproutlands or pastures tracked by rabbits, even in a bleak and, to most, cheerless day .... .  I suppose that this value, in my case, is equivalent to what others get by churchgoing & prayer.  Hank Thoreau, 1857

Offline stickbender

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2014, 11:33:31 pm »

     Well dang, I have been wanting to buy a Swedish "Logolsaw" portable saw mill for Montana, Now if I am ever going to get into bow making I will have to Plunk down two grand, and get busy.  Shoot I just might head down your way, and cut some "Straight" stave's for you, if you will let me use your Indian steamer.  Heck we could throw some taters, onions, garlic, and buffalo hump in there as well, and set the coffee pot on top.  I am sure that is what the Native Americans did, before the White Man came along, infecting, and stealing everything in site.  I wonder how long it will be before archaeologist find one of those primitive saw mills, and steamers?  Good thing you met him, not just for the stave's, but for correct archaeological information you were able to garner from him.  Should have asked him about raptors, might have steered you into the correct path for that also.  Maybe he would be willing to speak on a tour about his knowledge, of ancient Americans, and how they did things.  Must have read a political treatise on proper government treatment of the Native Americans, depending on how valuable their land was.
I think I have spent a few days in Sacarcastia a few times.  Some of the people there did look familiar, and they seemed to know me...... But coincidences are common now a days, especially in a political sense.  But you did make out OK for an uninformed newbie.  Now if you can just remember what he told you, you should be able to make a bow in a few years, and maybe some fiber glass how to books will help also.
Good for you for not pestering him on spilling more of his enlightening knowledge.  Might have worn off on you, and you would be arguing with Steve Parker about how to use a thumb ring.  So..... where are the pictures of the elm stave's?
                                   Wayne

Offline Parnell

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2014, 10:12:21 am »
Where is your brain young man?!  Where is your brain?!

Sarcastia, that just north of Scoffington, over by Derisionville?   ;D
1’—>1’

Offline Wildkatts Kitty

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2014, 12:32:52 pm »
The chiropractor I've been seeing is closely related to your fellow. After he'd get done "explaining" things to me, I'd be so tense he couldn't pop me very well. Had to bring Mike along for a distraction last time. The look of horror on Mikes face was great. He says I need to get fixed fast 'cause he can't deal with much more of that.  :P

Offline paoliguy

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2014, 01:20:10 pm »
Fluent sarcasm ...  raised in Sarcastia... Hilarious, I am going to be using that one!
Thanks!

Offline Dharma

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2014, 10:48:10 pm »
It is true, what that man told you. My people did use sawmills to cut staves. You have no idea how hard it was to knap a perfectly circular sawblade out of flint. Then we had to catch enough deer to harness and run on a track to power the saw. We didn't have horses until the Spaniards brought them, so we had no concept of this thing called "horsepower". We had "deerpower" and that was what we had to work with. In fact, that is why one tractor company was called "John Deere" because they heard about this thing.
An arrow knows only the life its maker breathes into it...

Offline Adam

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2014, 10:49:17 pm »
Now that's funny!

Offline JW_Halverson

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Re: I have some bad news, folks...
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2014, 12:05:40 am »
It is true, what that man told you. My people did use sawmills to cut staves. You have no idea how hard it was to knap a perfectly circular sawblade out of flint. Then we had to catch enough deer to harness and run on a track to power the saw. We didn't have horses until the Spaniards brought them, so we had no concept of this thing called "horsepower". We had "deerpower" and that was what we had to work with. In fact, that is why one tractor company was called "John Deere" because they heard about this thing.

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Dharma is now inducted into the Society of the Walking Eagle*.  As a longstanding member of the SWE, I welcome you, brother!



*Too full of sh** to fly!
Guns have triggers. Bicycles have wheels. Trees and bows have wooden limbs.