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Author Topic: Kibbles  (Read 2330 times)

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Offline JW_Halverson

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Kibbles
« on: August 21, 2014, 10:36:24 pm »
Seriously?? So I'm at one of those chain pet supply store buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. "All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I am going to try it again." (I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, this woman asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt, and a car hit me." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
 
Now that you've read this, I have to confess...I copied it. Now copy and paste. Make someone else laugh...
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Guns have triggers. Bicycles have wheels. Trees and bows have wooden limbs.

Offline Danzn Bar

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2014, 10:49:02 pm »
JW ....you are a nut...!!!!!!!..... :) :) :)
DBar
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Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking

Offline Badly Bent

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2014, 12:39:15 am »
That was funny, I can go to bed now with a smile on my face . :laugh: :laugh:
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I ain't broke but I'm badly bent.

Offline Knoll

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2014, 12:51:30 am »
Quote from: Badly Bent on August 22, 2014, 12:39:15 am
That was funny, I can go to bed now with a smile on my face . :laugh: :laugh:
Perfectly said. 
And some of my fb friends are getting couple giggles too.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 12:58:21 am by Knoll »
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... alone in distant woods or fields, in unpretending sproutlands or pastures tracked by rabbits, even in a bleak and, to most, cheerless day .... .  I suppose that this value, in my case, is equivalent to what others get by churchgoing & prayer.  Hank Thoreau, 1857

Offline chamookman

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2014, 04:18:11 am »
Oh Man - I'm gonna have "Perma- Grin" the rest of the Morning ! Thanks JW - Bob
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"May the Gods give Us the strength to draw the string to the cheek, the arrow to the barb and loose the flying shaft, so long as life may last." Saxon Pope - 1923.

Offline Pappy

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2014, 05:16:12 am »
Yep that's my boy,need that this morning JW. :) :)
   Pappy
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Clarksville,Tennessee
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Offline Gsulfridge

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2014, 08:11:38 am »
Haaa haa ha!  Good one. :laugh:
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Greg Sulfridge, Lafollette, TN

Offline JEB

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2014, 08:15:47 am »
Good one this morning.

Grandkids are always asking me" what are you doing papa" when I am busy whether it is digging a hole or fletching arrows.  My pat answer is," I am playing cards".  They laugh and say, "no your not" and then go one doing what they do.
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Offline Zuma

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2014, 10:36:59 pm »
I always swore by 25 o/o protein for my hunting hounds.
That was all they needed to be champions.
But then there is the Interstate Bridge release.

Some bikers were riding down the interstate when they saw a girl about to jump off the River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down
off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby..... whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!"

 George didn't want to miss this (he's-a-legend opportunity) so he asked...
"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don't you give ole George here
your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that...
And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

"Wow! "That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!"
" That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts."
 "You could be famous if you rode with me."
 "Why the hell are you committing suicide?"

The kisser answered----
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a sexy girl."
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 11:21:09 pm by Zuma »
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If you are a good detective the past is at your feet. The future belongs to Faith.

Offline JW_Halverson

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2014, 10:50:19 pm »
It was not ruled a suicide after that!
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Guns have triggers. Bicycles have wheels. Trees and bows have wooden limbs.

Offline jeffhalfrack

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Re: Kibbles
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2014, 11:08:58 pm »
lol  I knew it was  comming I just didn't know from what  direction,,,,thanks  I needed that  JeffW
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