trust can only be earned by allowing opportunities for it, I agree that the only way out of the 10 mile pit you've dug yourself is to take all help and advice and be humble and gracious of all help you receive, things WILL get better if you truly desire to better yourself and take action to improve your behavior. From now on I would ask that you at least think about how each and every post effects others, and what your post will do to keep yourself honest and humble. The key here is humble, if you are exactly who you are, you're being honest. If you're lying then your not being honest and you're not yourself... lying is not a part of humans that is natural. I hope you will take everything to heart that I've said, as well as Chris, He has been VERY kind by not ranting and chewing you out, he's given you advice, take it.