Interesting Expression

[stickbender]

     Poor ol Bone Pile, he must have had to stand under the clothes line for shade.
     Chinese proverb......If thine enemy, annoys you, buy each of his children a drum!
     This may be pushing the envelope.......if you see a rather nicely endowed woman........Ooooh, Emerson!  Emerson?......Yeah, Emerson nice ones!
     if someone has a big nose, they could hang on a limb in a Cherry tree, and pick cherries with both hands. 
     She has a butter face.......I like everything about her, "but her face"
     The best way to get back on your feet, is to get up off of your a$$!
     Or Ben Franklin......If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.
     Or as my Dad used to say about someone who was obese, she looked like a
bale of cotton with the middle band broke!
     Ben Franklin.......After three days, fish, and guest begin to smell.
     For someone who is hard of hearing.......You have speak loud, sound doesn't travel well in a vacuum.
     She's not a fast cook, and she's not a slow cook...... she's a half fast cook........  Could be applied to workers, of various occupations, etc.
     She talks so much, her tongue is hinged in the middle, and wags at both ends. 
     Air force term for a woman who is pregnant and has one or more children already.
She has two on the flight line, and one in the hanger.....
     It's not whom you know that counts, it's what you know about whom, that counts.
     Honest as the day is long.
    As Mae West replied, when asked if there were any men in her life that count, and she replied, " It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men that counts!
     For someone who tight with money, or "Parsimonious", He's tighter than a crab's a$$, and that's waterproof!  He's so cheap, he could squeeze the buffalo off of a nickel!  He's so cheap, he hangs his toilet paper out to dry.
                                                        Wayne
     
     



     

[BowEd]

We've gotem by the short hair now means he's caught.Boy he pinwheeled that one means he 10 ringed the shot.

[JW_Halverson]

I once worked for a guy that was such a tightwad he actually made the hardware store "tare" the weight of the paper bag when he went in to buy a pound of nails.  I made the crack about him that he was so cheap he'd use both sides of a sheet of buttwipe!  He wouldn't fart until he was alone because he didn't wanna share NOTHIN'!  I swear none of us ever heard him fart, but dogs did!  His butt was so tight it doubled as a silent dog whistle.

Anywho...a friend of mine called and is down with the flu.  He says he feels "like he been ate by a bear with halitosis and crapped thru his hemerrhoids over a windy cliff".  In fact, he feels like he "been bent over backwards and drug by the short hairs thru a knothole".

[stickbender]

         



                                     

                                                Wayne

[_Jon_]

Big teeth:

That fella could eat an apple through a picket fence.

[lostarrow]

Yeah J.W. I got that flu too. I feel like a toad lickin' pig s*#t! Which is better than yesterday. I felt like I was hung by the eyelids and beaten 'till I blinked.

[HoBow]

Crazier than a sh*t house rat. My boss says that about most of our team. 

[coaster500]

Years ago one of my ranch hands didn't have the best hygiene and a bath to him was lookin up on a rainy day. I heard one of the guys say something that about sent me to a doctor laughin.


He said "somewhere on that body O yours theirs a tic a tryin to burn you off"   ya had to be there 

[Marc St Louis]

Heard a few people, including my dad, use this one when I was young, usually when they were annoyed with someone.... go pi$$ up a rope

[stickbender]

     Another Southern one, which Pappy, Pat, and the S.C. Parker, should be familiar with, or at least have heard it.  " Prettier, than a speckled pup under a red wagon!"  Referring to a Blue, or Red tic  hound, under a moonshiner's wagon.  The Old time moonshiners, would have a red wagon, and usually had a Blue, or Red Tic hound with them, to let them know when the "revenooers, or as my Dad called them, "Pro Hi's" (Prohibitionists) were coming around the still.   

     So uncoordinated, he couldn't walk, and chew gum at the same time.   

                                                   Wayne

[mullet]

or raining so hard it was like a, "cow pi$$ing on a flat rock", or, "It's a real, frog choker".

[agd68]

Here are some expressions that came out of the Royal Navy.
Three squares a day - plates on board RN Ships used to be square. easier to store that way, so each salior got three squares a day.

Shake a leg _ When ships put into port they often went " Out Of Discipline"  which meant wives, mistresses and hookers could come aboard . Shake a leg was a request for whomever was under the blankets to stick out a leg to show if they wer a sailor or a woman when requested by an officer or watchman.

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a Brass Monkey.- The gizmo they used to stack the cannon balls in was called a Brass Monkey. Basically 3 brass plates with threaded rods running through them that clamed down on the cannon balls and held the stacks together. The iron balls would shrink in the cold and fall out.

[coaster500]

"Make hay while the sun shines" ...  always thought this was good advise

[soy]

Use to do building restoration And sometimes things go awry... that is when Grand dads expression "dog crap don't stink until you step in it" really hits home

 For the not so smart They are a half bubble Off  plum

 When it starts to rain the first drop that hit you is God's fault The second 1 is your own , and the old man would tell me is even birds have enough sense to get out the rain , meaning that they are smarter than me

 Slicker than cat crap on linoleum

 And 1 I haven't figured out yet Do you live in town or ride a bike?

[soy]

I forgot to add he is nuttier than a squirrel turd

 Or she is dingyr then a dinner bell

 Or he's as nervous as a narc at a biker rally

 Smiling like the butcher's dog

 Slower than a junebug in January


 And finally it's the cobbler's kids who have bare feet