I'm real sorry Lane. There is nothing like the love a good dog has for you. I lost one that was truly my best friend about fifteen years ago. I hung her collar on my gunrack where it still hangs now. I said I wouldn't put myself through the pain of losing another one, so I didn't have a dog for years. My wife bought herself a dog, which instantly bonded with me and now LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN. I have a new little friend (actually 3!) and it is worth risking the pain. Don't put it off. Get you another one soon. We got rescue shelter dogs and I swear nothing loves you like a dog whose life you save.