Hi,
I don't have small hands, but I never go more than 4" for the handle/grip, and usually 1 1/2" on the fades. The fades really depend on what type of bow you're making. If it's a bendy handle, or ELB, the fades really don't exist. If you're making a rigid handle, more target style bow, your fades can be 2" to 3". Careful you don't make them too long, otherwise your bow turns out whip tillered. If you make a rigid handle bow, keep it long (>68"), to give yourself enough limb to work with. Good luck.