I sure know the emotions you have felt, and probably then some! I feel like I've earned a doctorate in emotions, and have probably just scratched the surface. I was blind-sided in November 2009 when my wife of almost 25 years told me she wanted to "move out for a while and think". She swore there wasn't another man, but that proved to be a lie. We were divorced July 16th, 2010, and I tried to the very end to save our marriage...everything I knew to do! It has by far been the most difficult experience in my life. I reached depths I didn't know existed, and thoughts I won't convey here. To be honest, it is still a struggle every day, but I try not to talk about it much. I try not to communicate with her, except when necessary concerning our two sons. I still dream about her and our life together, like last night for instance. I don't know how to fall out of love with her, other than with time.
I am much better than I was, and have a great girlfriend in my life now. I haven't been able to give her myself fully due to not having given up the past yet. I think what I hate the most about it is our broken family, twenty five years of memories that are painful, and not being able to talk to her about our sons and memories of their growing up. I can never have that again!
You've received so much good advice. You have a wife that is willing to try and work it out, that makes for hope, and I do hope the two of you can make it work! You share so much, it is awful to cut that bond for ever!