I thought you were some grumpy old dude!  Ha ha ha.
You're moving in the right direction - got any neighbors with a chain saw or friends?  They'll probably have a chain saw file you might borrow.  They're much thinner than the rat tail usually and make a better groove.  
You'll find a way, somehow.  Don't rule out pin nocks, either, I actually prefer them, but that's just me.