I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass some gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed
my releases with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel
better. I finished my Latte and then noticed that everybody was staring
at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
> Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night
> the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses... She
> yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The
> 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She
> starts up the stairs and pauses "Wa s I going up the stairs or down?"
> The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
> her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get
> that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help
> both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
> An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that
> her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
> situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The
> dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes
> later, the officer radios in. "Disregard.." He says, "She got in the
> back-seat by mistake.."
> Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
> fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the
> second man replied, "it's Thursday..." And the third man chimed in, "So
> am I. Let's have a beer."
A little old lady was running up and down the halls
> in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her
> nightgown and say "Supersex.." She walked up to an elderly man in a
> wheelchair Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
>
> He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take
> the soup."
