Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks

[recurve shooter]

lol that was good zenmonkey

[Pat B]

I'm drawing a blank but loving all the limericks.

[stickbender]

      Ol parker made a bow, that was strung so tight,
      that the speed of the arrow was far faster than light!
      With that bow, he shot an arrow one day,
       it shot from the bow in a relative way, and it came back the previous  night!                                                                                                                                                                   
     
        Poor ol Mullet, went to Brazil.
        We all felt bad, cause he was workin, and that ain't no thrill.
        He made friends with one of the rancher's lovelier live stock,
        Till the Rancher saw the boot prints on the Termite mound, and on the gate put a lock!
        The locals would feed him great food, give him great drinks, and he didn't even have to pay the bill!


         Ol Pat lived in the mountains of North Carolina.
          With fresh mountain air, and beautiful views, life couldn't be finah.
          But with feet the size of Paul Buyon's ,
          His shoes were huge, and when he took them off they smelled like rotten oinons!
          But he could kick a tyranus rex, and I bet that would really make a sore Dina !

         
                                                                   Wayne
         

[stickbender]

     Hunter Trapper went to the Western Mountains to live like a Mountain man, and there was no pretendins.
     He would fish, and trap, drink rain water, and wash his clothes in the streams, while holding them by the suspendins!
     Ah, but he was not the only archer in the woods, as he met a cute little Native American, ol Cupid sent forth his arrow.
     But when her father the chief heard of this, he looked him and his eyes began to narrow.
     Boy I bet they will open up wider, when he finds out that soon there will be.....one little , two little, three little indians.....

                                                                    Wayne


     Ol Shannon, wanted to make stone arrow heads, and knife blades, to hunt with, and whittle up plants.
     So he got with ol Eddie, who took him to Claude's, and he learned to make em so sharp, he could whittle ants!
      The most of us who try to learn this craft, have to go through all the trials and tribulations of leaning to knapp.
      Oh, but not so with Ol Shannon, he just sat there and watched Ol Claude, and started to make em like putting on his cap.
      It jsut isn't fair to the rest of us who have to struggle, and waste good rock, but we have to agree he is good, even if he is a little smarty pants!

                                                                                        Wayne

     

[stickbender]

     Way up above the mighty Mac, lives a yooper, way back in the trees,
      He works in the city, keeping the City's poop chutes running, and not letting em freeze.
      When he is not working, he fishing and hunting when ever he can,
      Actually he is really quite the outdoors type of man.
      His lovely Wife makes him take off his work clothes outside, if you ever got downwind, they'd bring you to your knees!

                                                                  Wayne

      In Tennessee lives Ol Pappy, as nice a guy as you'd ever find,
      he'll teach you to make a bow, arrow, and feed you, yeah, that's the kind.
      Every year, he hosts the classic, and a whole bunch always attend,
      They meet and greet, and eat, and learn archery, and hate for it to end.
      Ol Mullet got some spring water, and washed down a June bug, and Ol Pappy thought he'd lost his mind !


                                                               Wayne

[stickbender]

     Two Irish Lads were sitting in a pub, on a bright St. Patty's Day
      As they had been there quite awhile, three sheets were soon on the way.
      Said O'Riley to O'Bannon, Ahhh as sweet a lass as ever, I have found.
      If that be so, said O'Bannon,why is it me yer drinking with, and she is not around?
      Well says O'Riley, she's a teetotaler!  Oh, says O'Bannon An English Girl, Aye, says O'riley, sad to say.

That's for HatchA    and one more below
                                                                            Wayne

       Irish whiskey, is so very fine, that I will take it over beer and wine, and Schnaps too,
       There are those who think the Irish can't make a fine whiskey, but I beg to differ with you.
        Fine spring water runnin through the peat, in Tullamore County,and fine barely grains toasted,
        makes for a great ending to a meal of fowl, and pork, and a potato, be it baked or roasted.
        Ah, yes you can boast of your Lord Bushmills, and speak with an air, but for me I'll have the finest, my Tullamor Dew!

Give every man his Dew!                                         Wayne

 

[DanaM]

Your qite the character wayne, you need to come to the Classic donchano eh

[stickbender]

Dana, I would love to, but at the moment, I can't afford to.

                                 Wayne

[HatchA]

Wayne...  that's a fine talent you've got there, pal!  Thanks for the dedication

***edit***

I'd like to share a haiku that I saw on a t-shirt a while back...


"Haikus are easy

        But sometimes they don't make sense

                  Refrigerator"

[stickbender]

     HatchA;
     Thank you Sir.  Actually me ancestors were Brittish, but I do have a strong afinity to the Irish.  ......and their whiskey.......
      And their Holidays, and Limericks.

       I sit here in this pub, celbrating St. Paddy's Day, but on the green beer ,I thik I will pass.
       I can't eat another corned beef sandwhich, and oh how corned beef, and cabbage gives me gas.
       ever since opening time, I have now sampled all the various spirits, for which the shelves have room.
       It seems that on occasional trips to the loo, I have lost me grip, and had released a cabbgae induced sonic boom.....
       But all is not lost, as it seems the troll at the end of the bar is gone, and in her  place,...... is a rather presentable lass.

        Ok, ok, I will stop.
                                                                     Wayne

[Hillbilly]

Wayne, you have got to get to one of the shoots up here in the United States. You'll obviously fit right in at the campfire with the rest of us crazy galoots.

[mullet]

 Hell, Steve, he's crazy when he's at my house.

[stickbender]

     Yeah, but I am known for that.   I really would like to go to the Classic, but it doesn't look, like I can afford to this year.  Eddie, and Cathy, keep telling me about how much fun it is.  I have cousins in Cookeville, that I haven't seen for quite some time.  But like I said,  right now it doesn't look like I can swing it.  It's at the end of April right?  Wait till you see Eddie's little tear drop camper.  Pretty cool.  Maybe he will tow it with his jeep, that he uses for an occasional game of bumper pig......   I would really like to get up there and meet everybody, but I guess I will have hide my cat from Pat.......   Looks just like the one in the picture, cept bigger.  But maybe one day, I can get to some of those shoots, and meet everyone.  Eddie, speaking of your house, when are you finally going to be home?  Sounds like you will have quite a lot to keep busy with, but just think of the prestige of that certificate.

                                                                                    Wayne

[DanaM]

Wayne stowaway in eddie's camper eh

[mullet]

 Wayne, I start the journey today. A driver will take me to Uberlandia today. Saturday morning I'll fly to Sao Paulo to Garulhas Airport and be in Orlando by 7:30 Saturday night.