Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks

[Hillbilly]

It's baaaaccckkkk....the world famous often-imitated but never-equaled Primitive Archer Stupid St. Patrick's Day Limericks thread!
Here's a couple to get you started, let's hear 'em.



A drunken old bowyer named Lou
Bought some powerful quick-setting glue
But he mixed it too strong
And held on too long
Now his fingers are backed with bamboo......


There once was an archer from Guam
Who made an arrow attached to a bomb
He thought it great sport
But the fuse was too short
Let us now sing the ninetieth psalm......

A daring young archer named Blair
Shot an arrow straight up in the air
But our young friend soon found
What goes up must come down
Now there's feathers sticking out of his hair.......

There once was a feller named Pat
Who would steal all the neighborhood cats
He cooked them in foil
With some garlic and oil
And ate them-now how about that? ........

[mullet]

  that's funny, don't you work?

[ricktrojanowski]

That feller named Pat....Is that Pat B?

[Hillbilly]

Rick-you mean this guy? 



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[Hillbilly]

There once was a fellow named Ray
Who built sixty bows every day
He bought rasps by the case
His shavings-pile was visible from space
And the forests in his county went away


There once was a knapper named Clint
Who stole a big boulder of flint
From the courthouse foundation
There was an investigation
And off to the slammer he went

[Pat B]

                  boys d'arc
The boys of the archery club
spent most of their time in the pub
when the tournament came, it was such a shame
for the boys of the archery club.

while shooting my bow made of wood
the other guys thought it no good
they tried as they might to say it's not right
but my arrows went right where they should

There once was a guy named Auclair
whose bow got caught in his hair
with a turn and a twist and a flick of his wrist
and there is his hair down there

[Timo]

There once was a hunter named pat
Whose toes made his feet look fat
He hunted all day
Till his beard turned to grey
and al he could catch was that cat!

(sorry Pat,had to add lib)

There's an onery old chap named Hillbilly
Who resides in a country so hilly
Building bows,arrow and stone points
(maybe goes to beer joints)
Writing limricks making others sound silly

[hawkbow]

there once was a site called PA
where bowyers spent too much time of a day
there were those who made arrows and those who built bows
those who killed cats and had giant toes

 some were from the east, and some from the west
one old one from Canada they say just might be the best

 some made arrowheads from a porcelain throne.
and some use only the finest of stone

some like them snakey and some like em straight
but you can bet they will all reach the desired tiller and weight

I stalk the high lands with a bow in my hands
some would say I am a strange sort of man
 
but to them I would say they that they should know

I belong to a brotherhood. the brotherhood of the bow

[Pat B]

Them kittens can sure nuff be tender
the pleasure's intense that they render
the sweet little toes, the tail and the nose
but the bestest part I peel from my fender

[Timo]

Pat...... Love the fender part .

[Hillbilly]

  Good ones, guys.



A physics professor named Joe
Once built the world's fastest bow
It shot so fast and hard
That wooden shafts would be charred
And aluminum arrows would glow...........


There once was a feller from France
Who bowhunted without any pants
But he stopped to rest
And sat in an ant nest
My, how those Frenchmen can dance!...........


A compulsive flintknapper named Hank
While on the toilet, broke off the tank
He was chipping a knife
When he was found by his wife
She said he was the reason she drank............


Pat found a healthy recipe
To marinate cats in green tea
They were tender when fried
It lowered his triglycerides
Plus, he said it killed all the fleas..........

[Timo]

There once was a knapper from Norway
Who used to knapp in the doorway
The door slammed shut
And slapped him on the butt
So now he knapps in the hallway.

[nugget]

Those made my day brighter. It is always good to start your day with a smile.
Thanks

[Postman]

Picking cucumbers right by my back door,
A copperhead skin i did score
She'll look good on a bow
But she did lay me low
8 months later, my finger's still sore......

[Pat B]

How 'bout an Irish haiku...

with my bow in hand
I walk amongst the green trees
in search of a stump